According to the Dysentery Dangers infographic, I should’ve had explosive diarrhea on at least two continents. I should’ve had the squirts in South Korea. A colon blow in Costa Rica. A bowel bomb in Belize. A … well, I can’t think of any sort of euphemism for a power dump that starts with a J for Japan. If you have one, let me know.
I’m ordinarily not an infographic-publishing sort of guy. Few of them really say much to me, much less make me laugh out loud. So give this the hairy eyeball and get a few tips about how you can dodge dysentery when you travel.
I feel pretty lucky – I’ve managed to avoid much gastro-intestinal upset in my travels. I ate from every roadside stand in Costa Rica. My only problem came in San Jose when we hit a fancy Chinese restaurant. In Belize, I had one close call on the way to the ATM Cave. Oddly enough, the food wasn’t spicy or exotic.
And then there’s Asia. All through Vietnam, Japan and South Korea, I swallowed local cuisine like a whale chugging down the plankton. And nary a worry from my stomach. I’m not sure why, especially considering how much meat hangs outside in the markets.
Honestly, I’m pretty high-risk. The list is full of my violations:
#1 – Fruit from the market. Yeah, just you try to resist those delicious mandarins that are for sale every damn place in Vietnam and South Korea.
#2 – I can’t confirm that I ate anything spoiled, per se. But some of the stuff was sitting out in the markets at some point.
#4 – Raw and undercooked meats. Yep, another reason I should be in trouble.
#6 – Street vendors. You have two choices: Eat food from street vendors when you travel, or be – as my friend Stace likes to say – a pantywuss.
#11 – This doesn’t appear on the list, but it should: Eating shark that has fermented underground for a few months and therefore smells like cat pee. Hey, if it’s good enough for a bunch of desperate Icelandic Vikings, it’s good enough for me.
I will say that #7 is extremely legit when you see the locals drinking bottled water.
So, does anyone out there have some good stories about venting plasma from your warp core while on vacation? (Hey, I’ll bet that’s the first time you’ve ever encountered a Star Trek-themed pooping euphemism …)
My thanks to realholidayreports.com for creating the first infographic I’ve ever loved.
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