Nobody Needs Reviews of Business Class Flights

business class flights
A United Dreamliner preps for a flight from Houston to Chicago

I read reviews of business class flights for one reason – to shake my head at the complaints the reviewers dredge up. Even as a guy who loves air travel, I’d never miss reviews of business class flight if they fell into oblivion, never to return to earth. Here’s why.

The Writing is Awful

Here’s a passage from a recent review of a business class flight: "The giant GE-90 engines powered the Boeing 777-300ER off the ground and into the air for the scheduled 13-hour, 30-minute flight to Taipei."

business class flights
The Travel Class cabin of an Asiana 777 – this is where airlines show what they’re made of. And Asiana? Made of awesome.

That is some of the nerdiest over-writing ever. And believe me, it doesn’t end there. Reviews of business class flights are filled with horrible shorthand like "pax" (passengers); jargon like "hard product" (I could joke about this all day); and over-analysis of each course of the dining options, with photos included. Speaking of photos, almost every business class flight review I see has way too many of them – stuff like seats, amenity kits and (I’m dead serious here) video screens. Yes, photos of video screens. SMH, as the kids would say.

Nobody Should Have Any Complaints

business class flights
The 747 … the Queen of the Skies. Flying everywhere you want to go for a little longer.

Look, no matter what airline you fly, a business class seat is going to be one of the nicest transportation experiences you will ever have. Fact. That’s it. Some of the nitpicking I’ve seen is absolutely revolting.

One knock I saw on an airline’s business class was "not enough privacy." Another was "poor location for the seat remote control." Oh, and cheap plastic cutlery. The horror!

business class flights
Foreign airlines seem to step it up, even in economy class.

I can’t believe how people can be so whiny about not being pampered enough. One hundred years ago, we were getting around on steam engines. Fifty years before that, covered wagons. And here we are traveling at 38,000 feet and spanning the world – can we no longer endure two meals with cheap plastic cutlery without sniveling as we polish our monocles? And don’t even tell me that business travelers need to know what they’re getting for their money: Most of the time, it’s either their employer’s money, or an upgrade.

Reviews of Business Class Flights Are Irrelevant

Most people travel in economy, maybe in economy plus. The differences back there vary much more widely by airline. I’ve flown domestic airlines and experienced them as just adequate – nothing horrible at all. But the foreign carriers I’ve flown really step up their game. There is a huge difference in economy class among the airlines I’ve flown.

And that’s really the bigger, more relevant story that travelers need to know: which airlines bring the A Game to economy class. Some will be willing to pay more for the better airlines, while others would prefer to lose a measure of comfort to save a few clams.